The meaning of life (as I see it).

The meaning of your life is what makes it valuable or worthwhile. How you can spend your life to make it worth living.

You have free will, and freedom to choose. You get to choose what is valuable to your life. What has meaning to you. What you define as good.

You get to choose what to do with your life. What goals to pick, and the amount of effort you will expend to get them.

If you expend effort to direct your life toward what you see as valuable, then you are creating meaning with your efforts. So you can choose whether to give your life meaning and what that meaning will be.

There is not that one single thing that you can identify, and do, that will give your life meaning. No single purpose that can be defined. As soon as you define it, then everything outside of that definition you are declaring worthless, and it isn't. Your entire life can have value and meaning. So you can't define meaning, or limit it.

The current you can have value, purpose, and meaning. The future you has this ability also. So it is the totality of the being, doing, and becoming of your life that has meaning.

Look at being first. This is the you existing in the here and now. Reality is is the totality of the here and now. Being is your relationship to reality. Your connectedness. How closely you are integrated with reality.

The best use of being is to take in life's' joys to the fullest. To be moved by them. To be in awe of reality's beauty, depth and richness. Use all of your senses to take in the sights, smells, sounds, vibrations, and tastes. Enjoy them. To appreciate reality and to be thankful for it. To be grateful that you exist and that all of reality exists.

The more reality that you take in and appreciate, the more the present has meaning to you. Try to maximize this where you can. This will maximize the meaning in your life. But it cannot be your entire life. If you make being your entire meaning, you enjoy the present so much you are not motivated to change anything. If you don't make effort to change, you never grow, never contribute to change or growth. You have to do something.

The doing. Your life has an effect on reality. Everything you do changes it. You get to choose what to do. So you are choosing how you will change reality. Choosing and then doing makes the change. This is creation. You are creating the new reality as time progresses forward.

You define what is good. Your values are what you desire. What you desire means something to you because you want it. You make changes to reality to create the future reality that you want. Your efforts to do and make these changes are the struggle of life.

You create the meaning in your life by choosing what has meaning to you, and doing it. You struggle and put forward effort of your life force to create a future that has meaning to you.

By your choice and the doing, you can create a better reality for yourself and others. You are adding to the beauty of reality by this creation. This gives your actions meaning to yourself and others. It is the deciding what to do, and then doing it that are the hardest part of having a good life for most people.

The doing is the expending of the effort required to move forward on your path in life. Your choice is which path to take. Usually the harder the struggle, the more the potential reward.

The becoming. As you are doing, you are changing reality and yourself. The change in yourself creates your wisdom. The struggles make you stronger. You increase your abilities and capacity to do more. Increasing your sovereignty. The more you become, the more you can add to the meaning of life. The more that you add, the more meaningful your life will be.

Some are caught up in the struggles of life too much. This prevents them from enjoying the present. Spending too much time trying to do, you sacrifice the being.

Some are too caught up in the enjoyment of the present to be able to change and progress into the future. Spending too much time enjoying momentary pleasure, you sacrifice the doing and becoming.

You must have a balance of both being and doing to get the most potential becoming. You get to choose how much of your life you will devote to each. Everyone gets to determine what gives them enjoyment, how much enjoyment they need to make life worthwhile, and how much struggle to do to become and make the world a better place.

Meaning is determined by your relationship to reality currently, and how you interact with it to create it, and what you become. How close your attachment to reality is and your life's' effect on it.

Everyone's relationship with reality is different, because we are all different individuals. We all have different values. We all have our strengths and weaknesses. Everyone's meaning is different from everyone else's.

So we all create, making additions to reality. That becomes the new reality. We each take a different part or role in reality. We each create different meaning to our lives and the meaning to reality as a whole.

We all become. Reality changes with time. So meaning changes for each individual as time progresses. Because we are all constantly affecting reality, it is constantly changing. We have to adapt to it. Every choice we make changes reality. Every choice that everyone makes changes reality. That makes reality an infinitely complex process with too many variables to comprehend.

The current reality also includes all potential future realities. The sum of all the changes made to reality create the new future reality. The new reality then includes all it's potential futures. Complexity increases exponentially as you try to project what the future may hold.

We do the best that we can with what our capabilities are. Then with wisdom we learn to accept reality as it is. You have to accept the now reality because it can't be changed. You do not have to accept the future reality, because you can change it.

What you should do.

Deciding the path of your life.

Change is inevitable. You cannot stay the same. If you think that you are, consider the time lost of your life. So you are same, but lost time, so your life is worse off. This is change for the worse.

So if you must change, change for the better. This is growth. Make your life better. This gives your life meaning.

If you maximize your growth, you are reaching your highest potential. You are doing the most and becoming the most, so that you can do even more.

Your potential includes helping others reach their potential. Helps them grow to give their lives meaning. Make others lives better. Never stop growing and helping others grow.

Wasted potential is wasted meaning that your life could have had. Don't have regrets.

Anything that anyone can do to help is a contribution to the whole of reality that we all have to exist in. Each must pull some of the weight according to the capabilities that they have.

Make the best choices that you can, learn from mistakes, change and grow to your full potential.

My hope is that more people can become more connected to reality and participate more in the struggle to push us all to a better future. We can all become better and have better lives. I have children, and hopefully grandchildren to care about.

Keep up the struggle.

FINDING YOUR PURPOSE

Sorting your life out, making a plan for what to do with your life.

This is different from meaning of life.

There is no one purpose of life. If there were, we would all be the same. Robots. We each have our own purpose.

A things purpose is what you do with it. A broom's purpose is to sweep. A pen's purpose is to enable writing. Your life's purpose is what you do with it.

If you don't do anything, you have no purpose.

We all exist in reality. We imagine different futures and decide which would prefer. We work toward getting what we desire. This is what we do, so this is our purpose.

If you don't expend effort to work toward your desired future, life just passes by and you accomplish nothing. Your life will have served no purpose.

What you should do with your life? This is anwered by determining what future you want to work toward.

Nobody can tell you what you have to do. You decide what you want to do based on the future you want to try to create. Then you expend effort to try to make that happen.

How do you decide? You narrow from infinite potential futures to something that is possible and that you want the most.

You can make your decision based on emotions, but you will make better decisions using all of the tools available to you. Especially your rational reasoning ability.

The following is one rational way to approach life decisions:

Step 1.

First you need to know where you are on your reality map. This places limitations on your potential futures. What you can or can't do. Your potential is determined by your location in time and space.

Your time: your age and estimated time available to you, what you define as your stage of life.

Your space: your relationship to your environment, resources and capabilities.

Step 2.

Then you need to define who you are on your map. Who you are determines what you want.

We are all similar in most ways to other humans. We all operate in the same reality. We all have fears and desires.

What makes us different individuals is our differing beliefs. Differing beliefs give us different values.

What are your values? Your values are what you believe has value to you. What is important to you. Your priorities.

The following is a list of some of the values that people have. Everyone places them in different order or priority.

Narrow down this list to which are important to you. Add something if you don't see it on the list.

First just circle which are important to you.

Then try to narrow it down to the most important 5-10.

Then try to prioritize them in order of most important to you at this time.

You can't have everything. You have to make decisions. You choose one thing over another. This determines your path in life. Your choices determine your life.

When you can't decide, you are conflicted between competing desires. Every choice eliminates other choices. Sometimes compromises are made. You sacrifice part of something to get part of something else.

You have to choose what is most important to you. What you will sacrifice and what you won't.

When you determine what is important to you, you are determining what is acceptable to you and what isn't. This is boundary setting.

You establish who you are by determining what is important and what you want out of life.

You also find out what you have no tollerence for, like injustice or irrational thinking. So you find out who you are not.

Your priorities and values can shift over time indicating growth or focus. Keep updating your list of values and prioritizing them.

Step 3.

Live according to your values.

Make sure that all your choices are in accordance with what you believe is most important.

You choose what is more important to you over what is less important.

Consciously making choices according to your values strengthens your boundaries.

You become someone who will stand for something. You stand for what you believe in.

You assert your boundaries on what you deem acceptable or not.

As your life progresses into the future, your values and boundaries become more defined.

Your boundaries determine your path in life. You are limited by what you will or won't do.

You keep expending effort on what you will do to move you toward what you desire.

You are attempting to create the future that you want and what you want becomes more and more defined.

Asserting your boundaries, you will be creating according to your values.

What you do with your life automatically happens as you do what is important for you. You are creating your life according to your values as time goes forward. You are creating your purpose in life.

If you don't have boundaries, you don't know who you are, you have no values, you can't live values, you can't do important things to you, you can't grow, you can't be happy. You are wishy washy, have no direction, no meaning. You will follow anyone who says they can give you meaning. You will be pushed into things for their reasons, not yours. You will follow the wrong leaders, and easily be manipulated.

Step 4.

Understand that you have been brainwashed since birth.

Those around you, and everything that has happened to you previously, has created your beliefs.

Something happens that affects you. You respond in a way that seems to work. You develop automatic programming to act the same way in the future. Your response may not have been the best one, just the best that you knew at the time. At a time when you didn't know much about the world.

You have developed triggers and automatic behaviors that are maladaptive.

You are still being brainwashed by marketing, propaganda. From all of your environment. Media, school, government, parents, friends. All relationships. Almost everyone and everything in your life is trying to influence, or outright control, you in some way. They are all telling you what you should do according to their beliefs. Telling you what you are responsible for.

Step 5.

Reflect on your life.

Consider and evaluate the position of your life and the direction it currently has.

Why and how it took this current path. The choices you have made or the choices others have made for you. Were the choices in alignment with your values? The good and the bad.

Step 6.

Pick the direction that you want your life to go in accordance to your values from this time forward.

You cannot pick one final goal. Your life will change and evolve. Just pick something that you want to go towards for now.

Your patterns and automatic behavior will try to drag you back to your past path. Your past has a lot of momentum and habit. You will only slowly change to a new path.

As you begin to change, the changes can accellerate.

The maladaptive parasitic ideas of others that were imbedded in your mind will try to hold you back.

You need to establish the current position for all facets of your life: work, relationships, spiritual, etc. Then pick a direction for all portions of your life.

Then consciously and intentionally pick directions and goals for the areas that you want improvement.

You are deciding and acting with purpose.

You are intending to create the future of your choice.

Not deciding is a decision.

Without deciding and choosing your own path, you will let others control your path or follow them on theirs. This is not a way to get what you want, or to be happy. You are a jellyfish going with the flow controlled by others. Occasionally seizing a piece of food that drifts by. You will be a target for those that will exploit you because you are exploitable.

Step 7.

Once you know yourself better, spend some time with that person, outside of the influence of others.

Reflect and reinforce your boundaries.

Figure out if you are actually acting as your real self, or acting out the avatar of who you were indoctrinated to be. That maladaptive avatar that was just seeking safety from it's fears.

Avatar is a false self to present to world. Co-dependent presents a harmless, sacrificial self that isn't a threat or can be destroyed at no cost.

You can be ultimate nice guy co-dependent, you have the choice. But do you want to model that behavior for your children, limiting their potential. Being excessively nice and hyper agreeable is not a value that you want to have. It is a symptom of your disconnection from reality and not seeing your true worth. Becomes a waste of potential. You contribute nothing except a supporting role for others. The ultimate budhist, lacking growth. No ego, no boundaries. Others exploit you until you explode. You are a ghost. A programmed robot existing only for others needs. No desires of your own.

To correct this, start by admitting that you can have desires. Then try to create them in small ways. Then larger ways. This is the normal process of maturing that you never got to do. Your growth was stunted by others who controlled you. In a cage of others control. Not allowed to have your own desires, or to work toward them. Resentment becomes your only feeling. Lacking the ability to create your own meaning in life, you cannot get any happiness. You sink into depression.

If you assume everyone has value, look how much potential is lost just by the co-dependents.

Then add to it what is lost by narcisists not acting in accordance to reality. They constantly have setbacks that they blame on others. And then conflicts with other narcisists, both thinking that they are right.

For the religious:

Setting your soul free leads to your salvation. If you don't set your soul free, you will eventually be destroyed.

Set your soul free and do good get to heaven, or create it for yourself here on earth. Keep it trapped or do bad with it and go to hell.

Just doing nothing and allowing others to control the situation and you go to hell, or create it for yourself.

Even if those controling you are doing good, you have your own little piece of hell inside of their heaven.

Step 8.

To grow further, work on your shadow.

The shadow is the maladaptive automatic programming that you follow that you don't know you are doing.

Most of this was things you learned to do at a very young age. You don't have memories of what, why, or how it came to be. You only remember that this trigger happens and you do this.

When you confront shadow you grow and become a new person. All religions have stages for this. Baptism, circumcism, confession, adult name after ritual for manhood.

People who continue doing shadow work are always new and fresh. Good to be around.

If you don't do it you are dead already, never growing always just repeating groundhog day with same ideology.

You are working toward individuation and enlightenment.

Lack of growth:

It is safer to be a ghost or drift like jellyfish. It requires less effort.

We leave our avatar outside to potentially be killed and we hide in a tiny cave of our making. You keep avatar alive by keeping narcisist supplied with narcisistic supply.

Live as a perpetual child in the cave never growing.

If you don't feel safe in cave, you shrink even more until invisible.

You don't want to live in narcisists cage that you helped create, with them towing you down their path. Or you clearing the path for them.

Don't stay in the cage, go out and play.

Growth:

It requires energy and effort to be yourself, but rewards are great.

As you grow you develop boundary, then a thick skin, then armor.

Armor that is permeable to ideas.

After you have an armor and feel safe, you get better at assessing threats. You learn what you can tollerate.

Then you can calmly walk your path, avoiding danger, to get to your destination.

As you establish boundaries, you will automatically become more stable and emotionally regulated.

More calm because you are safe within the armor of your boundaries and values. Sureness to your path.

Your core values evolve over time, but you should always have some values like integrity, rationality, truth, courage to stand against ideology. Highest truth is highest value and then not being controlled by others and not controlling others. And discipline to follow your values.

Your core values are what you have to have in a relationship. Your core anti values are the dealbreakers. Everything else is something you can work with. You have to have honesty and ability to grow. You can't have senses of entitlement or narcisism.

All relationships are part of your moral code. You will have a relationship or not. You will allow them this close or not. You allow different relationships to different boundaries.

If you already have your boundaries set up and have thought about them, it is easy to decide if someone you meet is desireable to have a relationship with.

Goals and intentions can vascilate and move around a lot until you become more sure of yourself. Then you become more focused and they stay more regulated.

Anxiety causes boundaries to change. You can extend them in times of need to let others in to help. You can move them closer to prevent danger getting in. Or, you can have anxiety that they will leave you, so you change boundaries so they will stay.

Some skillfull others slowly manipulate you to change your boundaries to their benefit.

As you are doing and becoming, you come across others of doing the same with like values and like desire for growth. You should desire relationships with them because of common struggles that you can help each other with. You leave those that don't grow at your rate behind. Or not close enough position in life to be helpful to each other.

You send out conscious, and unconscious, signals of who you are and what you are trying to accomplish. Others will join with you who are doing the same.

As you venture into chaos and change of growth, you encounter others doing the same. If you never go into the chaos, you never meet the people who are growing.

Growth and change and people who are growing do not exist in your comfort zone. This is where lack of growth and boredom live. Do what is uncomfortable. Struggle to make your life better.